Animism into Maga hood....

It seems that the combo of damaged cognition and focus to my brain from the lived experience of psychotic months, and post these, depressed states, would prefer to sabotage my creativity in it's usual channels of pursuit. Fuck it! Who am I without my craftings and makings! I have two, bigger then Ben Hur, tres fancy sheets o watercolour paper 100% cotton, but very blank. So to speak, not draw, but speak. This is the crux of the matter....

In an impassioned twirl, always the best vibe for spell casting (except also relaxed calm) I had reached the end of my tether. Pharmaceuticals, riverside ambles pondering, psychotherapy, tarot and oracle decks were leading me to this point. A humble acknowledgement of the spirits of the lands, waters and airs for welcoming us home, a raising of energies...to whoosh out stagnation, spiritual debris, negative thought projections. Move along lost souls and wayward spirits, to whence they belong or have unfinished business to attend to, and call in creativity, peace and motivation (I am paraphrasing from sieve like memory, but the creativity bit is solid). So, I am writing.....

I am writing here in these wee corner of the ethernet where a few intrepid travellers voyage, peek their heads around etched bark trunks and betwixt leafage, to these words. Or call out my name to a closed door, well, it's frickin cold! A dear friend, hhmm i do seem to have  a few of em, mayhaps I love folx more than some hermity tendencies at times admit hhmm. Anyways, back on topic Pringle, a dear friend shared concern at my mood swings. Sounds all very tra la la and sunshine, 'swings' BUT they are far from that. I dislike concerning folx I care for too, so, in an effort, mayhaps brought forth by my dervish spell for creativity, I am hoping to bring this blog to life with some word rambles.

The topic that's first coming to mind, well she's an archetype really, is the Witch at the Edge of the Woods. The Hedge rider without children, except those of the furred and winged nature or tendencies. Probably a highly biased decision, as she's an echo of me. A consort who visits beloved, but in his own timings, amidst a need for space from her uumm well from her wildish intense being, aka me. Oops, spilt the magic beans...

In a world of yummy mummies and maternal graces with bub bub bub faces, well let's face it, I'm in my 50s by now most folx kids are pretty well grown (I've never reaaally been a yummy mummy mixer myselves, probably you neither if'n you've read thus far). Yet, it seems these grown child peeps still are borne in their parents consciousness, very much so. An act of love, or intolerance, depending on current behaviour. Me? I've crossed paths with some excellent wee folk, some dearly adored. Many of whom I liked well enough NOT to Hansel and Gretel em, or they me. However, long term.....it's Mush aka No-mad cat and me. 

I had the opportunity / occasion to, of bearing a child, several times in fact. I never felt solid enough in the world to be such a vessel. Mayhaps I over thought it? That fella who said here's $120 you decide, see you later! Free and lovely (self named), just didn't do it for me on the trust levels. The last bun in the oven, wee spirit who descended from the star peoples for a brief stay in my womb with out a view, but a heart beat strong, was the hardest to let go. My clock was ticking, and I wanted to keep this one. My Mum to her credit, offered a hand, but my whatever-it-is-I-am ness I din't feel to pass on to another sentient being. It's too tough. Base line.

So, did these other Witch's at Worlds edge, go through similar choices? 

Did Baba Yaga have lovers in her youth? Likely, I feel. 

Or is it a case of the sentience in all things, brooms, cats, stones, herbs, ravens, ovens, books, bodies of water, wild rose bushes, was enough, to care for, nourish and love up for these wombyn through time? Do, I mayhaps, needs be embrace these, as enough. Is this 'animism', or something of an ilk? Spirit Kin certainly are strong presences when abouts! 

Do I, as I amble towards Maga hood, not quite the Crone yet ;-), needs be embrace this sentience merrily, rather than pine for could have beens? Mayhaps my, what if's are present moment vibes, and gratitudes? What if the world loves me so, each breeze and glimmer of a moment is a song of greeting and rhythmic melody? The cosyness of our bed coverings within cottage a gifting deep it be on this Winter Solstice! Our wee faux fire, cosily flaming electric fan pumping out heat! Ha!  

HHhhm this Witch shall wonder a little, or lot, more.....with a lop sided grin, for having written a few ambling words, and shared a little CREATIVITY! The spell crafting form was not specified.....

I smile, wink, n fibro slow grasping my cherry wood staff, off I go.....

Blessings n good vibes if'n you stuck with me....

Travel well.....