Betwixt the worlds

It seems that the combo of damaged cognition and focus to my brain from the lived experience of psychotic months, and post these, depressed states, would prefer to sabotage my creativity in it's usual channels of pursuit. Fuck it! Who am I without my craftings and makings! I have two, bigger then Ben Hur, tres fancy sheets o watercolour paper 100% cotton, but very blank. So to speak, not draw, but speak. This is the crux of the matter.... In an impassioned twirl, always the best vibe for spell casting (except also relaxed calm) I had reached the end of my tether. Pharmaceuticals, riverside ambles pondering, psychotherapy, tarot and oracle decks were leading me to this point. A humble acknowledgement of the spirits of the lands, waters and airs for welcoming us home, a raising of energies...to whoosh out stagnation, spiritual debris, negative thought projections. Move along lost souls and wayward spirits, to whence they belong or have unfinished business to attend to, and call in cr...

A happy day yesterday of being a dolphin at the beach with a dear friend, who threw a line in to no avail. Well, it was a divine crisp winters sunshiney day, to be knee deep in ocean, so that's an avail!  Afters, I returned home and had some pondering, in authenticity. As I looked at the kitchen sink, with cat food tins awaiting rinsing, attracting vinegar flies and a general mycelium network growth. Feeling i didn't want the perpetration of inviting anyone to support, aka judge me, in assisting to tidy my own napalm kitchen mess, I had to leave them to their own devices for another day. Today I was fibro slow, and the fungi continued to spread n expand its messages of telegraphed connection... I am 9 months down the track, wide and wobbly, back home. In Recovery from a fragmenting nervous breakdown. Aka in psychiatric jar label language, an acute psychotic episode. Don't be afeared, as this word can trigger peeps into. I hurt no one, suffered deeply, my reputation somewhat...